English 
Updated on February 26th, 2025
Today, ten years ago I heard that immortal line that nobody wants to hear when their loved one is in surgery.
“There’s nothing more we can do. It’s time to say goodbye.”
Those words will haunt me for the rest of my life, as they have done for the last decade. While I said my goodbyes, Terry’s life ended and mine changed forever, setting me on a new path that I didn’t choose, and I didn’t want.
We had his official send off in the new year. He was cremated as per his wishes.
And since then, he’s been in my wardrobe. Still in the urn. Which is still in the box. Which is still in the bag.
And on occasion, through the last ten years, when I have felt overwhelmed, we have reunited through all the layers as I have held him tightly. Having him there has always given me a sense of calm and grounding.
So, now the bag is a little battered. The wardrobe has changed as I have moved home. But he has remained faithfully there for me.
But after ten years it feels like the right time. My life has moved on. I have travelled the world. I have met someone new. I have got engaged and even finally set a date to get married again.
It is time to properly say goodbye.
After so long, you would think I had a plan. In amongst the trauma, I had not focussed on where he had wanted to be laid to rest. At one point I planned to take him on a journey to all his favourite destinations around the world, leaving a part of him there forever.
But that never happened.
So, last week I felt a little rushed to decide. The time was right, I just needed to identify a location.
His sister came to the rescue, letting me know that the government has a site where you can access all the will records of loved ones we have lost.
And there it was. He wanted to be scattered in the crematorium. With his Mum.
Finally, I had a plan! I scoured the crematorium website in search of any rules and process which needed to be followed. All I could find was that there were none. I arranged with his sister to meet today, after she had finished work, to visit her Mum and scatter her brother, my beloved Terry and finally release him from the confines of my wardrobe.
This morning, I called, just to check that all would be OK.
But it’s not.
You need an official. They need to know where he is. Someone needs to come with you. It needs to be during daylight hours. It is dark and there are no lights. You need an appointment and there are none.
Bo****ks!
I dutifully booked an appointment for later in the week. But it felt all wrong.
I am a rule follower. But I am also easily lead and need little encouragement to break them if it feels right.
Terry was a rebel. He believed rules were there for other people. They were fine to bend, occasionally break, sometimes shatter into smithereens, if they made no sense.
He was there when we scattered my Mum unofficially in the local park under a tree. He kept watch while my Dad and I tried to bury the evidence before someone discovered what we were doing.
When it was time to do the same for his Dad, he loved retelling the story of how they literally did a “drive-by” while tossing his ashes out of the window onto the golf course he loved so dearly.
Sometimes, you have to break the rules to do what is right. And if Terry is to finally leave my wardrobe, it needs to be in a way fitting to him.
Not official, with an attendant by my side.
But illegally. With his Mum. While nobody is looking. And with only us knowing he’s there.
So, that’s what I’m off to do today. To end his reign as king of my heart and my wardrobe and to start the next decade. It’s been an emotional rollercoaster ten years in the making, but the time is now right to set him free.
Wish me luck.
So, does any of this resonate with you? Have you ever faced the agonising decision of how to honour your loved ones? Or been so paralysed with something so important that you have distracted yourself for an embarrassingly long time? Please let me know I’m not the only one! Hit reply to this email to let me know or connect via your social method of choice (Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Pinterest, Threads or LinkedIn) to give me all the details.
To see some more travel related rule breaking, check out my blog post sharing fond memories of attending a wedding where they sacrificed a chicken, becoming the lead dancer at a christening and breaking into Universal Studios (fully egged on by Terry!). Check it out for yourself via THIS LINK.
Did you know that John O’Groats is NOT the most northern point on mainland Britain?
Me neither! Especially when I cycled on a tandem from there to Lands’ End many, many years ago as a student. (OK, so anyone who was there may find that statement a bit of a stretch as we did it as a team…and I was more on the fundraising crew).
But anyway. John O’Groats is the most northern INHABITED spot; the actual accolade goes to Dunnet Head which brings me to the latest video on my YouTube channel. This week we are back on the North Coast 500 route in Scotland visiting said northerly point at Dunnet Head. It’s a lot less of a circus than John O’Groats but gorgeous views out to the Orkney Islands and very cold breeze make it a stop not to miss on the NC500. See it for yourself via THIS LINK.
It is finally here! My long-anticipated and much discussed course – Find Your Way: The Ultimate Guide to Starting Your Travel Journey is the essential programme for women ready to turn their travel dreams into reality!
If you’ve ever felt unsure about where to start, overwhelmed by planning, or hesitant about travelling solo, this step-by-step programme is your roadmap to adventure. My specially designed course distils everything I’ve learned exploring 80 countries over 30 years, to empower you with all the tools, tips, and confidence you need. From choosing the perfect destination to budgeting, packing, and staying safe, you’ll gain expert insights tailored for women travellers.
Whether you’re dreaming of a solo trip or a group getaway, Find Your Way will help you plan, prepare, and embark on a life-changing journey with ease.
Why wait another year? Start now and rediscover yourself, one trip at a time!
If you are interested to learn more, I will be going LIVE on my Facebook Group next Monday 23rd Dec at 7pm (GMT). Make sure you JOIN THE GROUP ahead of time and REGISTER for the event. Please also invite any friends who may be interested to join and register too. There will be ONE-TIME-ONLY OFFERS available for those who are there live. I can’t wait to tell you all about it!
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Until next time,
Safe Travels
Sue x
This newsletter may contain affiliate links. By using these, Sue Where Why What may receive a small commission for which I say thank you, but you will not pay any extra charges for this. My opinions remain my own.
More of my Adventures…
Blog – Crazy Travel Stories – Gatecrashing the Party!
Video – Dunnet Head – Scotland’s Most Northern Point!
🏠 For accommodation, I use Booking.com. They have their Genius loyalty scheme which is easy to progress through the levels for better discounts and inclusions.
🚍 For tours and activities, my preferred supplier is Get Your Guide.
🗺️ For multi day or week tours, check out G Adventures. I used them for trips in Costa Rica, Peru, and Galapagos.
🤞 I would never leave home without travel insurance. With Safety Wing you can take out an annual policy and pay monthly. This takes the hassle out of having to remember for us regular travellers.
🛫 For cheap flights, check out Skyscanner or join Jacks Flight Club which scans the internet for error fares (UK only).
🧳 For luggage storage on your travels, I recommend the service by Bounce.
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